Numb

I finally saw the light in the gloom,
A ray of sunshine
From the direction of you.
For years I shut my eyes tight,
It was you, always you,
But I was terrified of the bright.
Finally I took courage in hand,
Opened my eyes, and allowed my heart to take flight.
For years I made myself comfortably numb
With wild nights, and shots of rum,
Men and booze, booze and men,
I wanted to forget my pain
Forget my hell, never feel again.
But from you,
My dreams would never let me escape,
For at night I would always see your face.
I took a chance, broke down my walls
And into your arms I allowed myself to fall.
But with a few short words from you, they built back up
With a dagger in my heart and more rum in my cup.
I don’t want to feel this pain,
So I’m gonna numb myself again-
Drown my sorrow, drown my grief
In this open bottle here in front of me.
I’ve learned my lesson, and learned it well.
I know what to do to escape this newfound level of hell.
Don’t worry,
I’ll be alright
Cause you’ll be the last man
I’ll ever allow myself to love.