Dysfunction

They say I’m “Dysfunctional”,

But I don’t know what that really means.

How could I possibly be

Anyone else, but the imperfect me?

Who wants a paragon,

A sweeping tribute to the “Norm”,

Who would never step out of line

Or blur the “Proper” bounds,

Who would shun crazy schemes

And look down their nose

At people like me?

Why can’t I be myself,

With all my flaws

Crazy ideas

Impetuous deeds

And natural Sensuality?

Why must there be a box,
A box they build around me?

What are they afraid of?

I think its envy

Nothing more.

I embody everything they wish they were,

So they try and drag me down

And snuff out my light,

But they won’t succeed without a fight.

Because I am me,

And no one else,

And that is all the truth I’ll ever need.

I Guess

I guess I wasn’t pretty enough,

I guess I wasn’t smart enough,

I guess I simply wasn’t good enough

For the likes of you.

I guess in your mind it all works out,

I guess in my heart I’m plagued with doubt,

I guess from the way you’re acting

Everything is true.

I’ll try to be strong for you,

I’ll try not to carry on,

I’ll try not to think of you

As you shall surely do.

I guess I just don’t understand,

I guess things just aren’t the same,

I guess I shall be moving on,

Perhaps I’ll see you one day.

You may not want to hear this,

You may not even care,

But I just wanted you to know,

That I shall always love you.

No matter how hard I try not to.

That Night

I have never felt so alone,

No one to see the tears in my eyes.

I felt my whole world

Come crashing down

After what you did to me that night.

How could you have hurt me?

How could you make me bleed?

I should have kept saying “no”

I should have pushed you away,

But I didn’t truly believe

That you would use my body that way.

You were supposed to be

The one who loved me.

But after all your pleadings,

And all my refusals

When I finally gave in,

You tore my body, Tore my soul.

I cried myself to sleep that night,

And I still sometimes do,

Because that was the night,

The night I stopped loving you.

Broken Promise

It starts with a promise of friendship:

A promise that this will last

Directly followed by a disappearing act.

An act of trust, a leap of faith,

Only to have it thrown back into my face.

I am tired of these bullshit lies

Of being a convenient whore

Until they find someone else

Because with me they’re bored.

Well, Fuck You.

Not anymore.

I am tired of this fucking game.

As for me,

I’m gonna retreat

I’m gonna cut my losses and run.

And as for you,

I hope you’re satisfied with my pain,

Because you’ll never see my face again.