Unspoken Rage

Afraid of the world,
Ashamed of myself,
Wondering why no one listens
When my feelings try to come out.
Hating while laughing
When people smile and say,
That I'm just crazy, wild, and out of control.
They laugh and say that it's okay,
But inside I certainly don't feel that way.
Every word is like a punch to the chest,
Making it impossible to breathe,
Each one as devastating as the last.
I hate the stigma attached to me,
And I wonder if anyone will notice,
If I try and tell them I've changed,
Or if they will just look at me the same.
Is it even worth it
To try and make them see?
Or is wild and crazy
All I'll ever be?